GPK'S 4 MOST WANTED THIS MONTH

Volume# 001 Number 001 ----------------------------------------------------Page 04----------------------------------------Wendseday, September 1, 1998

THERE IS A $0.25 AWARD FOR INFORMATION THAT LEADS TO THE CAPTURE OF ANY OF THESE CRIMINALS

WANTED   WANTED
FOR INVATION OF PRIVACY   FOR BODILY ABUSE
 
NEIGHBOR   DOCTOR
ALSO GUILTY OF THE FOLLOWING CRIMES -   ALSO GUILTY OF THE FOLLOWING CRIMES -
  • SPYING ON EVERYONE FROM THE WINDOW
  • CRASHING ALL PARTIES IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD
  • BORROWING 137 CUPS OF SUGAR OVER A 6 MONTH PERIOD
  
  • GIVING INJECTIONS WITH ELEPHANT-SIZE NEEDLES
  • LYING - WHEN HE SAYS "NOW, THIS WONT HURT..."
  • PRESCRIBING MEDICINE THAT TASTES LIKE MEDICINE
WANTED   WANTED
FOR DISTURBING THE PEACE   FOR AGGRAVATED ASSAULT
 
GARBAGE MAN   FATHER
ALSO GUILTY OF THE FOLLOWING CRIMES -   ALSO GUILTY OF THE FOLLOWING CRIMES -
  • MAKING NEW GARBAGE CANS INTO OLD GARBAGE CANS - OVERNIGHT
  • LEAVING MORE GARBAGE ON THE STREET THAN HE PICKED UP
  • GETTING ALL THE NEAT STUFF THAT YOUR MOM THREW OUT
  
  • DOING HIS KID'S HOMEWORK INCORRECTLY
  • SMELLING UP THE HOUSE WITH CIGAR SMOKE AND BEER
  • GIVING THE CHEAPES ALLOWANCE ON THE BLOCK

WARNING:

THESE CRIMINALS ARE DANGEROUS AND POSSIBLY ARMED, DO NOT ATTEMPT TO CONFORT ANY OF THEM, CONTACT YOUR NEAREST AUTHORITIES

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